fadhshukor

im currently having study break for my upcoming semester 7th final exam of year four *woot woot* so, now using unproductive time for studying *now is 7.37pm* to share the 7 highlights of 2017!

1.Almost perfect score for Surgery OSCE and Clinical Pathology (CP)
Not to brag. But im so grateful able to achieve this for my personal achievement. 14.04/15 for Surgery OSCE while I actually thought I totally screwed my OSCE. What happened was, I actually chose the 'not-so-correct' in-dwelling catheter for 4 kg dog *if im not mistaken,cant remember the question anymore*. I chose the blue one instead of the pink one. I tried to find for the pink catheter, but my eyes was like totally blinded *astagha* and couldnt find it, so I just proceed the procedure with the blue catheter. Then, couple of second before I finished that station, I suddenly saw that PINK CATHETER EXACTLY IN FRONT OF MY EYESS!

"Sorry Doctor, can I repeat this again?"

"Your times up"

Dengan hati yang remuk, nur fadhilah berlalu ke stesen seterusnya.

The other two station went well. Then when it came for the suturing station, I did my first two suture, suddenly that suture came out from the jelly*the suturing place* I tried to cover it from being seen *cubaan berani mati*, I dont have time to re-suture! I dont know whether I actually succeeded or busted.

I really frustrated after the test, because I've prepared and tried my best to perform the best but unexpected things happened. Keep on praying, for at least, I dont have to repeat the test.

Alhamdulillah for the result.

My first surgery

For CP, I got 49/50 for test 2 which help me a lot for final. Alhamdulillah.

2.Sultan Mizan Cup Endurance
I never thought this opportunity would came straight in front of my eyes. I knew equine rota will have endurance that I can join as vet assistant or scribe, but to join this international level of endurance was a wish that I actually didnt ask for.

More important is, to be back to where I was borned, Terengganu, after a very very very very long time *more than 10 years* even just for a short moment, is actually a very special feeling that I felt during that time. All those childhood memories keep on playing inside my mind and bring me tears. Terengganu hold something special inside me that nothing can be compare with.

Of course, the experience gained, surrounded with profesional vets, jadi semangat lebih sikit nak study!

I adore this vet *salute*

3.Instagram reach 1k
One of my 2017 goal. Haha. Ok la even though my number of likes doesn't tally much, but I just leave it to the new Instagram system, which I actually kind of not liking it.

But being followed by several international vet instagram profile has widen my connections, perhaps for future collabs?

4.Presiden of Prokasih
Alhamdulillah for the chance. Being the Pres, I'm the one who is learning. A lot. I learned a lot about my capability, my weaknesses, handling events, and of course, my teammates and lecturers.

I realised I  have a lot of holes to cover and to be improved. Alhamdulillah, the main program Catch Neuter Release was a success and Prokasih Competition turned out good. I really hope the university and school education which I am not able to conduct it this year, will go great next year with the new Pres!

Neutered cats!

So here, I really need to thank all of my friends and juniors, Afifah, Zahra, Allison, Adeline, Hani, Zakira, Fitri, Azmie, Kesavan and allll for being with me for this one year of Prokasih. Thank you very very very much!

5.Establish new skill! Brushwriting
Its been a long time, since I established new skill on my own, started strumming guitar when I was 14. I'm a person who easily get bored on one thing. I tried keyboard after guitar, but I didn't managed to achieve that level where I could play it independantly. I got tired of it, and stop. *and my keyboard dah berhabuk*

Finally in 2017, added another skill, brushwriting! The satisfaction is real. But, I still feel intimidated everytime I watch right-handed doing brushwriting, they can glide the pen from left to right without worry of getting smudge of the ink! *its okay its okay fadh..*

6.Balik rumah naik Uber pukul 2 pagi.
This was when I came home for Hari Raya Haji. Every time I think about it, it gives me shiver. I dont think I want to repeat it again. Thank god He found me with a good-hearted driver!

My practical mate! Muka lepas keluar reban ayam before balik kampung

I learnt my lesson to plan my journey better next time.

7.Failed my driving license.
This is the 2017 goal that I failed to achieve badly, and quite traumatize till now. Well, anyone who failed the JPJ test must know the feeling aite?

I completed everything, I extended my stay in UPM after the practical just for the sake of the practice despite of having a long holiday, paid extra for the accommodation, but when it came to JPJ day, its  not my rezeki yet to get a license.

I want things to settle fast, but it happened to be the other way round. I learnt to accept that things does not always goes as I planned and it challenged my patience to the next level. I havent repeat the test yet, cant find any empty time to slot in the test. Perhaps, achieve driving license in 2018?

Well, I plan, He also plan, yet He is the best planner.

Lots of unprecedented and unpredictable happened and done throughout 2017. Alhamdulillah for all the things happened, people that come and stayed or even left, and experience that bring joy and tears.

I havent jot any new goals for 2018 yet, studying for finals overwhelmed me. Any suggestion for 2018? Lets have a better year next!

I just blown up. My new class schedule just blown me up.

Remember when I blogged about how I admired my seniors who actually could go through all these hustles in vet school? Now its my turn and I still cannot believe it! I just wanna spill out how nervous I am to face this new phase of veterinary medicine yet excited. Ok time for sneak peak, on your first and second years are known as preclinical year, thats one phase. On the third year, is paraclinical year, thats one phase. On the fourth and fifth year, are clinical year, thats where allll the nightmaress haunting you i wish these all are just nightmares which will gone when i wake up!  Wake up fadh, hello fourth year! evil laugh

credit to my class rep

dear 22 year old self,

well, sanah helwah to you, and no doubt, this year is one of the toughest birthday day that you had faced, but not as tough as how your mom delivered out a 4.1kg baby which is you! you cried, you sulk on this day, but your mum whined, losing blood until half of her body turned cyanotic(blue), crushed bones, is never comparable. and this letter is a reminder how far you've been, to keep you stay grounded, yet forward and further.



during the whole 21 years old, there is one issue that you have been battling inside yourself for a very long time, until few days before your 22, i could say, you may has come to a point, that you can accept the fate and moving on. its about friendship. you had a rough experience regarding friendship till you lost hope about it and become quite rebellious. you didn't believe anymore in true friendship, yet, you envied people and yearn to have one faithful girl friend around you. but as you grow, you learnt that, friendship is a gift, friendship also a 'cinta pandang pertama', love at first sight. now you learnt and accepted, that for two person to become a faithful friend, they need one 'click' feelings in each other so they can stick. and that feeling only can be given by Him. and you haven't met that person that have the 'click' feeling yet. but, you've made a lot of friends along your life journey isn't. anywhere you go, there will be a person that will smile, greet you and shout your name, but i know most of the time you dont exactly remember all of their names! that's okay, keep smiling and greet them as well.  even you still haven't met the one true friend, one thing that will foster and keep everyone together with you, is sincerity. Instead of waiting for friends to be sincere, you can be the kick start of this. Love all of the people around you with all your heart, without expecting anything in return. And good things usually happen then.



you were naturally borned with a lot of ambitions in your small head and short height. you want to achieve a lot of things in life. i still remember, how many times you said to yourself that you wish you were borned as normal like others. but, you just different. Thus, you being apart from family the most compare to other siblings. But dont ever forgot your mom, which is the second source of all the Blessings in your life after Him. Dont forget that among all of your ambitions and dreams, one dream to walk your mom you to the heaven is the utmost mission that you must accomplish. pray for her, call her, and achieve the best in your study and make her smile.



i know in between all your smiles on instagram, there are struggles that you hide from the world. you've been deceived, badmouthed by people, torn family during your important examinations, failed in two tests, more, but hey, you survived till now. you fought till the end of the second year final exam and you dont need to repeat the parasitology test. you still smile and greet people that badmouthed on you behind your back. you lost your phone for two times and yet still survive without great smartphone like others. and you can't survive from all of them without Allah, your mom, and your family and friends. in this coming tougher year of fourth year vet medic, let out all your problems in your sujood even before sharing it with your mom and family and friends. your relationship with Allah is the ultimate source of all life needs that you need; strength, sustenance, tranquility of heart, and the ease of everything in life. but at the same time, build sincerity in every of your pray and sujood, not just because you need and want something from Him.



and last, perception. i know, sometime you feel everybody else is better than you. but, where you stand now, what you are doing now, also something that not all people can do. get rid of all negative thoughts in your mind that pull you down. and fills your heart with alll the positive thoughts towards people too. i know with your black past had made you quite cynical toward people around you. so, lets start a new book of life with all the nice thought toward people around you. always remember what you hold, treat people how you want to be treated, but if you dont get the same, at least you've made someone happy.



happy 22.

Its my third time in Singapore, but this is my first backpacking. Walking around SG with estimated weight of bag was 2kg behind my back on my tiny shoulders. Cant believe that I actually made it till the end! As you knew SG isnt a big country, you actually can walk from end to end or by cycling for about 45km only!

Here are places that I've been to during my three times visit, must be familiar for the travellers, so I just briefly describe them ya:
-Outside Universal Studio SG, in Pulau Sentosa, only to take a picture at the USS globe! The entrance about 55SGD wallao!



-Arab Street. Here there's a lot of affordable 'buah tangan' you can buy for your love one. And nice place for photoshoot too. The stores are own mostly by Iranian, people from the middle East countries.



-Merlion park. The place where you can take picture with 'the Merlion'. Mer:mermaid, Lion:lion. Half mermaid half lion. In Singapore actually 5 Merlion statue in Singapore. 2 in the Merlion park, 1 in Sentosa Island, I met those three. But I dont remember where the other 2 are. Well, you can have a journey spotting the five Merlions!

-Garden by the Bay. This place, I also just explore the outside park , because the outside also got lot of nice view and things to explore! The entrance are almost 50SGD too, so, bye bye. Will come back after earning moneyyy.



So, from my recent visit, my friends and I added new places to be visited, this time, is all by our own two feet with bag being carried around!,

From our practical place in ACRES, we move to Chua Chu Kang MRT station and took a MRT train to Orchard. And yes, I entered the ION Orchard, the luxurious shopping place, definitely will come back to buy something here when I work! hehe. We actually want to visit the ION Skydeck, where we can take picture on top of the ION Orchard roof, but it was under construction when we arrived. But, I was glad to enter kikki.K store for real! Just looking around all those planners and pens, well, my obsession.



Then we walk to Penang Rd, toward Library@Orchard. Definitely a cozy place in the middle of the busy city to spend your Me-Time. After tired working, spend a couple hours with book or just sit on the couch, then go home. In my imagination, hee.



Walk again toward National Museum Singapore. I lovee the big windows and high doors with white and grey colour of this building. That is the main reason why I wanna go there, teehee. I didnt enter the exhibition, just read some information around and enjoy the architecture with nice photograph.



Then all of us sooo hungry and grab some heavy lunch, there is a mall around the National Museum area, I cant remember the name, sorry! Then we stop for prayers in Al Burhani Mosque, I jamak and qasar both Zohor and Asar because we are actually on our way back to Selangor on that day.

After some toilet break and refreshment, we continue walked straight to Marina Bay located at Singapore River, blocked off from the sea by Marina Barrage. All of us are so excited seing the Flyer of Singapore, the gigantic ferris wheel, so we decided to walk all the way long for a ride. Buttt, when we saw the price, urm, no thank you, next time. It is, 33SGD for adult, huhu we sound so poor ;P, well, student life. To watch the Flyer by our own eyes are fascinating enough! So, we need to turn back and walk again toward the Helix Bridge, where we suppose to visit. Helix Bridge is a great and perfect venue to take picture with Marina Bay Sands as background and the New-York-ish building background, I could guess the shot for the new edition of SGdUck was taken somewhere here!



However, we supposed to go to one last stop, the Marina Barrage from Helix Bridge, but we ran out of time. We couldnt make it by walking if want to go there, because we need to go back to Terminal Bersepadu Selatan (TBS) Selangor on the same day. Ouh well, we came this far was already a marvellous trip!



Then, let's talk about money! I actually spent only 14.40SGD which currently equal to 45.28MYR.
Lunch+ bubur pulut hitam (I was craving!, but it really satisfying) 8.40 SGD
100plus in can 1.30SGD
Bus intercity to Fu Lu Shao Complex 1.40SGD
Causeway bus to Immigration 3.30SGD

That is when you decided to do one day bagpacking. If we took intercity bus to one place and another, the expenses will be almost 60SGD. We didnt took bus because there is a lot of buses option which we might end up lost. It took more time to study the bus route, so walking straight to the destination is better choice, might be also because the distance between one place to another is not that far, it is still a walking distance.

And of course, I learnt about their culture, how the city work, no need to brag about their fascilities, lets pray for my MY will progress towards the better too. One thing I would like to share, Singaporean also have their 'La' slang like Malaysian, which is what they tend to end their word. But its not 'La', they use 'Sia' with very prominent hissing 'ssss' sound. When you heard the slang 'Sia', it doesnt carry a bad meaning or curse, like 'sial' or something. Its just their slang. I also sometime used the word when spoke with my colleagues in ACRES. Excuse me if you heard me accidently use it in Malaysia!

In these past few days, us, the juniors are excited waiting for our seniors comprehensive examination (CE) results. CE is the very last big exam that determines whether you are qualified to become a vet and get the Dr. title. So happy hearing the good news, and some are sad news. Just now, also watched one medical senior instastory that they had passed their board exam(i guess, im not sure what the exam called for medics, correct me!) and officially a Dr. now. Congrats and congrats! Everytime thinking about it, the chills runs through my veins and arteries. Am I gonna pass this too?

As for this week, I started my pre-ward rotation at the hospital for two weeks. Mine was started with small animal first, which is the scariest rotation! I thought I would start with large animal or equine huhu. Now, I got the feelings of seniors having their rotations. It is...quite scary.

Start my day as early as 4am every morning to make sure everything run smooth and have a good start. The cases come and go like a flowing river and non stop! Only on certain day the number of cases are quite less. It really testing the ability to talk with client, taking the correct history with good timeline, effective communication with the Drs. who is not the same age as you , ability to do physical examination on animals that cannot stay put even a minute plus need to show a great profesionalisme in front of the client.*sigh. I need to present 5-8 cases everyday together with the physical exam.

My shift end at 5pm, and if there is still case going on, ya.. it will be later than 5pm. Everytime I reached my room, I need to rush a bit to samak so that I could perform Asar prayer then go down to cafe and get my dinner. One thing that I realised is, everyday during this rotations, I will dozed off after Maghrib and will wake up back for Isyak prayer, and it is nottt a nice habitttt but I really cant make it to Isyak after the Maghrib :( I couldnt believe how tired I actually was. I said to myself, 'when this coming semester open, I must already be physically and mentally prepared and have plan on how to face these phase'. I really need to fix this sleepy head.

That is why, I find it is amazing for the past seniors who had passed and finished their studies. It is totally a tough battle, but I dont want to lose. If they can, so can you!

But I received one of the best news in my life in between all the storms; I passed my Surgery OSCE with almost perfect marks, alhamdulillah. So, Lets keep the motivation burning!

'Real doctor treat more than one species' No offense Medics!

Sunblock and Cushion Powder. The powder container is quite old because I have use it until second refill.

Love the pastel colour and pattern

New besties!

More meaningful when my unfortunate events come to its turning point during the Ramadhan, we confront and forgive each other, Alhamdulillah. Even this takes about one year, but this is how Allah taught me to always have good thought on anybody *husnulzhon, strengthen my soul by not easily get sensitive over small matter, and forgiving,  as He the one who even always forgive His slaves. Semoga nur fadhilah tak cepat merajuk dah lepas ni. ^^

In my early days as student, I never touch nescafe  until i become a foundation student aka university student. There is when my caffeine episode start. I just had the 'kampung' black coffee back then when  balik kampung during hari raya.

During foundation days, I will consume caffeine only during exam period. When I need to study for test for a bit longer, then i will have a cup of caffeine. After my test is over, my caffeine intake will stop. Averagely my caffeine in take was just about 2 - 4 cups during that exam week.

Then, when I step into degree life, I still maintain the same style of caffeine intake. Only during exam period. I realised that im not a person who easily addicted to something, instead i am easily forgot about it. So, i am not addicted to this.

However, stepping into higher stage of learning especially now in third year, my caffeine intake increasing. I started to have caffeine in the morning before class but still not having it everyday.

Caffeine does help to ease some stress, provide some extra energy and boost my gloomy mood, but I always remind myself that i dont want to make myself depending on this. It is not healthy.

My turning point is, just during my recent test 2, I had quite high caffeine intake and i didnt realised that i actually didnt drank enough plain water. My usual plain water intake is always 1L and above, everyday. High caffeine intake with inadequate fluid causing the blood become high consistency thus not flowing well concurrent with stress (diagnosing myself),  tanggungla akibatnya. My skin got quite bad breakout on the forehead. My dahi licin gonee. Takdela licin sangat pun. ;P And honestly I can observe the difference between my skin during high caffeine intake which is dull and i could say its not happy with lesser caffeine intake, of course the latter is with better and glowing skin.

Right now im still having caffeine, but try to manage it in proper way because i am a morning person instead of night. What I practice now is,

1.Have a caffeine detox phase everytime after exam.
If you realise I always posted on my instastory @nfasr that im gonna start caffeine detox. i posted so i wouldnt betray myself that ive told people that im going to have caffeine detox, so i must stick and be true to it. it is one of the way how to help myself!

from monday till friday

2.put a bottle of plain water next to my coffee mug.
so im reminded that i need finish that 500ml after drinking my coffee. drinking plain water will help to dissolve the caffeine thus your blood wouldnt get thick (which makes me annoyed already imagining my blood getting thicker and not flowing well. just my imagination!) and irrritates our kidney.

3.Limit my intake to one cup of caffeine only per day
If i feels like i dont need one at that day, then i dont have to. If i do, i make myself clear that i only need one cup of it.

And ya, detox my body with vitamin C from my miracle'c white also helps me a lot to return the healthy of my skin.

my test 2 almost donee. almost, cuz one more surgery paper next week. its three weeks long because i still have my usual lectures, practicals, and surgeries practicals, so the test are taking in between all those. so by hook or by crook, i need to keep myself prepared for anything coming up on the next day, like, im having surgery tomorrow but i also going to have a test on the next day after the surgery, and surgery usually drag until 6 to 7 pm, so with im still being tired from surgery i still need to prepare for test, but on the previous day i actually spent much more time in preparing my surgery instead of my test. so how? ;P  *die

having a great study strategy is one thing, but without motivation to urge and drive me to start studying till the end, all my study plan is not meaningful anymore. with no more energy after a long day, here's how i push myself

1) wake up early, start my day as early as possible

i realise waking up and start my day as early as people still in their bed, is the best feeling ive ever had. its like having a shot of adrenaline inside my vein and that best feeling help me to pull through till the end of my day. i would say waking up early is like an effortless motivation that you can get with just a snap of your fingers!

2)your mind is magnet

all in all *eh conclusion dah? haha. all in all, thus when talk about feeling good,  the most vital element that i take care most is my thinking, my mind, my feeling. i keep myself feeling good, and great, any bad, anger, hatred feeling must be excreted out jauh2, why? because its just a waste of time A LOT. I keep my mind in positive thinking by, first, early in the morning after i wake up, i imagine and play it in my mind about how am i going to go through my life today, how cool am i gonna be throughout my day, what i have for that day. like repeating a drama in my mind, as i go along my day as like what i imagined, and at the same time my nice imagination keeps my inner soul feeling good, so it shine out to my outer. our mind is like a magnet, what we  play in mind, it attracts.

3)exercise

remember, our body also sometime can be like a garbage. everything we eat, is going to be accumulated for us to use, the fat, the protein, the minerals and so on, but by just attending classes 5 days a week, not going to ensure that we've used up all those accumulated nutrients, so, how's the ending of them?  even when im busy, i cant let myself not exercise maximum-ly for two weeks, thats my threshold, i would feel like busting when i imagined my body is accumulating toxic. exercise is like servicing my car, and my car is my body, after every exercise it helps my body to have better cognition and moving smooth so i can go further.

4)planner

currently im using bullet journal (bujo) system to plan my day. i realise the difference when i put plan into a piece of paper, and when i just planning inside my head. when i put my plan into a paper, i actually see more spaces and time that i actually have, rather than i tend to accumulate everything at one particular time because i thought that i dont have much time but i actually do, its just i cant see them. break task into smaller chunk and cross it out one by one as i finish them, then i can have some me-time and reward myself, yeayy! everything seems to be more possible when plan through, but still need to be flexible as we must know that we planned, Allah also plan, and He is the best planner, but at least we try our best to be productive, task that i didnt accomplish according to my plan, i need to be 'redha'(accept it) and will do better on the next day.

5)blessings

in the midst of my hectic schedule and lots of goals to achieve, i always remind myself that i cant achieve anything without His bless, no matter how wonderful my plan is, how great my effort is. i devote one or two part of my day for Him, call my mom, create good bonding with people around me, friends, colleagues, seniors, and juniors to keep myself grounded. sometimes, when im too overwhelmed with my life, i know that, i need to stop whatever im doing, go take a walk, say hi people and have some chit chat or go to surau to bring my sense back. dont toxicate yourself, take a moment to detox.

my longest surgery so far. 8hours

alhamdulillah my test 1 done! and already  obtain some of  the test marks, alhamdulillah, i can say its a good start for this new semester!

you guys knew that i want to share about this based on my facebook. ya, its from what happened in an optical store where i purchased a new pair. i try being neutral here. im not going to brag about my unfortunate story happened in the store, but im gonna write what they shouldnt do based on what i've experienced.

1)being pushy
dont push your customer to make a decision. give us time to try and keep on trying, as for me i know im not the one who easily make a decision which one to buy which one not because i will think of any possible consequences, am i going to look good wearing this, is it worth my budget, etc2.

even if you keep on praising me that i am looking good in wearing the frame that is more pricey than the less one, i will end up feeling annoying and can sense your game. but instead, just be natural and give space to your customer to make decision no matter long she/he gonna take.

2)condemning one product from another
i was offered to choose between lense A and lense B. lense A is lower price than lense B. and i realised that the promoter keep on highlighting the downside of lense A instead of explaining the benefits of both lense fairly. i would feel better, if the promoter should explaining about both lenses fairly, then let the customer decide. you don't know whats is your customer's situation, maybe they are actually in tight budget, or they are in phase of saving money, or they just want to find something that fulfill their need keep less the fancy. first and foremost, you make your customer feel comfortable.

second, when you being fair to both product, the chances of the customer to choose is 50-50, the customer still will choose either A or B. but in my situation, i was loaded with the info about lense B whilst i know less about lense A, so it was either 100% i choose lense B or 0% im not gonna choose neither one because i dont have the choice, i dont know much the benefits of lense A, i just knew that lense A is lower price, thats it. so, at first, i did choose lense B and my frame lense increased and already written on invoice, but what happened next?

3)exchanging look with each other, and smirk?
when you're working in a store that have a lot of mirrors, dont ever try to exchange look or fadh nak cakap kat sini is jeling-menjeling with each other. and even if your store doesnt have mirrors, don't even make any suspicious smirk or whispers. when? when your customer is in process of making a decision. i admit i spent almost 1 hour and half in that store, but purchasing a spectacle is a big issue for my life, it is something that i will use for next 4 to 5 years. i have the right to spend as much time as i need to make the best decision for myself.

 for me, making your customer feels comfortable when having a deal with you is the most important matter. next, the profit will come after you by itself.

at last, i made a decision, i went to the counter, i cancelled off all the add on package that i chose before and just stick to the basic price.which 200+ instead of 400++, why? due to all the above reasons. as consumer, you also have the right to make a move that satisfies and fulfill your need.

just an old picture cuz im missing homeee

stepping into third year of vet med(i dont have to type it fully anymore right? huhu its long!) the feeling that always come on top and abovee the number one is OVERWHELMING. Feeling like there's so many things to accomplish, endless to-do list, lots of things to revise again(really need to revise the anatomy and physiology back!, why no one telling me theseee) Plus juggling with my online store(@miraclec.bynufa and @ootd.bynufa) adding to the overwhelm-ness. Plus with faculty society work, yada yada.

sometimes i feel energise to face all of that, sometimes i do feel lost like 'where should I start?' . It has come to a point, that I cannot prioritize and classify which one that I suppose to finish first. I need to do my revision, but it is the peak hour that I should advertise my store, which should come first?! (aaaa)

 seriously, accept the fact that semester break is such a heaven even though got practicals and such, while a new semester is all about work till you drop.

especially on Tuesday, from 9am till 5pm is totally spend for surgery. In the morning is the lecture, in the evening fully spend for surgery practical. its a big guilt inside myself when I dozed off during the lecture for couple of minutes(the aircond is so cold!) then when the lecture finish I have to revise it again, so does with other lecturesss, thus increase the overwhelm feeling again. Its quite lot. In the evening, as for yesterday my practical starts at 1pm, so quickly after my lecture need to get my lunch before the food runs out and change into scrub suit(girls need their time to get ready!) and of course must be punctual at the same time. when practical is done need to rush home and samak all the clothes before Asar prayer time goes off. then just I can have some 'me-time' before get back to work after Isyak.

its the anesthetic record. need to cover some.

when it comes to that point, I found out several ways that works for me to bring back my consciousness and spirit to get back to work. one of the most ultimate ways to get out of the overwhelm-ness is to call my parent, my mom! I called her almost every day, whenever I call she will thought that I have something important to tell like 'tak cukup duit ke?', but nooo, most of the time just to hear her voice enough to calm and soothe me down, get on my feet back and realise why I do this at the beginning. 2 to 3 times per week I'll force myself to get on my feet and do some jogging, which I can escape my mind from all the animals for a while,

when it comes to work and study, I used to be a perfectionist in everything, which I realise it took a lot of my time. now I learn to focus on progress rather than perfect, its ok to do mistakes, but the most important is I must learn for it. everything must be in fast pace right now, studying, working, finishing the assignment, because later in fourth year, the elevator will be much much much faster than now, everyone is walking, talking, thinking, eating, drinking, making decision, calculatinga patient dosage medication and everything are in fast motion. in other word, high efficiency is when its done in a less time right?

whatever it is, I try not letting the overwhelm feelings overwhelm me. always find a way that can keep motivate and rekindle my spirit.!

I am actually rewriting this!i lost the draft *cries*

there's a lot of bad side of me, but one of it are
I wanna do everything.

Frankly speaking right after my SPM, one of the thing that cross my mind, is I wanna further into STPM instead of Matriculation, Asasi, and others. Because, my tiny knowledge about STPM is, 'it is one of the hardest exam in Asia' *corrects me if im wrong*, due to that, I want to challenge myself.

Then, of course, I didnt further STPM, why? the rest was history. I continue to apply matrics and asasi*foundation study* as usual, and also scholarship to oversea. I received my matrics offer letter first, short after that, my asasi letter came. Then, my mind came to realise that I was actually wanna do veterinary since I was 9! Okke so here we go Asasi!

But then again, the scholarship offer letter came in two months after I register and study in Asasi. My mind changed again, but the course is the one that I dont have any slightest idea of furthering into it since im a kid, it is dentistry. At that time, I 'thought' I can do it since I WANT it*and i wanna go oversea*,so, its just a matter of effort. No girl, you're so wrong.
But my mom is my gravity, she stop me from taking the offer and from making a short-minded decision. She had the 'mom-instinct' that I should further in veterinary instead of taking the offer. Unwillingly and with rebellious heart, I let go the offer. Alhamdulillah, now I am soooo grateful that I didnt. Cakap mak always right!

Now, I am venturing into online business world, it is one of my passion, but when I come across to one type of business to another type of business, I become sooo greedy to venture into all of it. Start from selling product, until online networking. I easily lost my focus. But a lot of business sifu, said 'must focus on one thing' first right? but this Nur Fadhilah wants it all! *so tamak this girl*

Next, I wanna learn Mandarin, so I installed the mandarin language learning app into my phone. Honestly, I have not even finish the Basic No. 1 lesson pack. Can I say its because due to my packed schedule??
And even now, I actually spark some desire to do vlogging. Hahaha, *again so tamak this girl, even your blog isnt reach 100000 views*

Then I realised, I dont want to be the 'jack of all trade but master of none'. Instead of dabbled in many things, but actually cannot master it, its so unsatisfying, and has no meaning. But I just realised it when Im now, a 22 years old girl, i should have used that time to master in something!
So now, I want to fulfill what Im doing now, veterinary medicine student-online businesswoman-blogger-self taught mandarin learner *oh my,i just realised how lots it is* before moving on to any new 'passion', kind of. #prayforfadh



I'm actually rewriting this during my self study time, *i love self study time!* because im not in the practical group today, mine is next week. yeay! so the entry must be compact and shorter than my draft version cuz i have to get back to my study! nanti kantoi. bye!