fadhshukor

Making the vlog is much much saving my time a lot. Haha. But I tend to lost my word. Video make things easier to explain. Somehow I still miss typing on my keyboard though.

Presenting my first video. I didnt make any editing, I just record and publish!



Our 20-ieth age is not a term to be waste. Chasing dream done, now it is time to build and make it solid.


Let's 2020!

Whats the not-that-hard? The new phase of my life aka adulting aka working life.

First thing first,  I chose to get out of my comfort zone. Instead of working at place in my hometown, near my home, I chose to get out of the cocoon of comfort-ness of home, mom's cooking, and safety and secure cash. Its a hard decision. And it's actually a decision made together with my mom, but the one that first brought the idea was me, my mom was reluctant at first, but the only sole objective is she wants me to grow.

I had a rough days before started working, where I have to finish driving school within one month time with the urge where I have to pass the driving test at first try. Because the job is just waiting for me, but the only thing was I couldn't travel. It was rough because I had bad experience of taking driving test two years back. The struggle to free myself from the bad memory is real, need to fight with my own fear, putting all the hope and trust in Allah. I forced myself during the driving practice until my foot sprained and cant walk for three days. My faith was challenged. But with every trial comes the ease. Alhamdulillah, did it in three weeks.

Then, there come the working life. Honestly, the first two days, I cried. Every night came back from work, I texted my mom with tears rolling. The main thing that bothered me was, I felt myself being slow-pace person because I've been relaxing at home for two months, suddenly come to work at fast-paced place, there's lot to catch up. Second, is driving. For a newbie driver, less than a month to be exact and today is exactly one month I receive license! then need to drive in KL/Selangor, I was so stressed TT. Really. And yea, that was the two main thing that bothered me back then.

When it come to third day onwards, I started to take front clinic consultation, formulate treatments, diagnose the problem, did the minor surgery within the minimum timing, assimilated myself with the fast-pace working environment, things start getting better and kinda addictive. Then, it comes to a phase where I have to manage my finance... which I'm kinda waiting for the pay day currently :P

All of the events, thanks to endless supportive family, supportive working environment, ample space of learning environment, and source of strength from Allah for me to face the everyday challenge. I have a lot of thoughts about working as new vet, which isnt easy and I'm still learning to be better, and I think it is better to make separate post for that.

So, it isn't that hard. Find the joy and appreciate the moment in every phase. Studying is stressful and has it own joy. I enjoyed my study days, I struggled during that phase, and currently have no regrets. Working is where responsibilities starts on your shoulder and has it own joy, and the later phase, marriage, building families also has it own ups and downs.

Everything is possible. In shaa Allah.

I managed to pass the Parasitology subject, the one that I failed two tests in a row. Thank God I dont have to repeat that subject. So, what's next? Third year, here I come.

mind map

short notes

final study guide

worksheet

During my first and second year of Doctor of Veterinary Medicine (DVM), my GPA pointer isnt something that i can be proud of. Just enough to keep me above 3.30 every semester. Everyday i entered the class, listen to the lecture, enjoying the lecture, but most or some i dont understand anything, had some laugh over jokes told by lecturer, then i went back to the room, i dont know what else i suppose to do. Am i suppose to study every single day?

When test approaching, then i started to cram things, study all the materials only bit here and there. Getting my score for the test which all the time above average, sometimes barely A-,  already made me relieved. But still deep in my heart, I still feel, i should have done better, i could have done better.

The issue getting obvious during final exam. I studied, quite hard, maybe not as hard as my friends, but still hard, made notes, read them, but still i didnt managed to get result as good as them. They managed to achieve the D-list during the early years of study which you should before it getting tougher by next 2-3 years. But i really dont know why i couldnt.

The cycle keeps repeating until my second year of degree. I just able to get myself float and surviving the year but without excellence. The desire is burning to achieve the D-list too, but i dont know what did I do wrong.

And until my third year, I couldnt keep myself float anymore, I failed two tests of Parasitology, twice in a row. I've been called by the lecturer, asking for whys and hows. I cried when I went back to my room. Those are the first moments of failure that I faced in life. I never actually failed in studying since school, I was shocked too, and I'm still finding the whys and hows.

When the final exam of third year coming, I knew I couldnt afford to fail a subject, if i did, i have to repeat. Thats my worst nightmare. My carry mark was low since the beginning, I have to buckle up, push myself beyond the limit, put the 150% effort to pass the parasitology.

In the morning while we're waiting for parasite exam, I heard one friend explaining about one part in parasite, I understand every bit of what he was explaining, and it stuck in my head effortlessly till i could recalled them during exam. At that very moment, I realised that I actually dont know the correct way of studying, I-dont-know-how-to-do-study.

To be continue.

I continued my work and the rest is history.