Post CE Series: Early years, I dont know how to study
17:07
During my first and second year of Doctor of Veterinary Medicine (DVM), my GPA pointer isnt something that i can be proud of. Just enough to keep me above 3.30 every semester. Everyday i entered the class, listen to the lecture, enjoying the lecture, but most or some i dont understand anything, had some laugh over jokes told by lecturer, then i went back to the room, i dont know what else i suppose to do. Am i suppose to study every single day?
When test approaching, then i started to cram things, study all the materials only bit here and there. Getting my score for the test which all the time above average, sometimes barely A-, already made me relieved. But still deep in my heart, I still feel, i should have done better, i could have done better.
The issue getting obvious during final exam. I studied, quite hard, maybe not as hard as my friends, but still hard, made notes, read them, but still i didnt managed to get result as good as them. They managed to achieve the D-list during the early years of study which you should before it getting tougher by next 2-3 years. But i really dont know why i couldnt.
The cycle keeps repeating until my second year of degree. I just able to get myself float and surviving the year but without excellence. The desire is burning to achieve the D-list too, but i dont know what did I do wrong.
And until my third year, I couldnt keep myself float anymore, I failed two tests of Parasitology, twice in a row. I've been called by the lecturer, asking for whys and hows. I cried when I went back to my room. Those are the first moments of failure that I faced in life. I never actually failed in studying since school, I was shocked too, and I'm still finding the whys and hows.
When the final exam of third year coming, I knew I couldnt afford to fail a subject, if i did, i have to repeat. Thats my worst nightmare. My carry mark was low since the beginning, I have to buckle up, push myself beyond the limit, put the 150% effort to pass the parasitology.
In the morning while we're waiting for parasite exam, I heard one friend explaining about one part in parasite, I understand every bit of what he was explaining, and it stuck in my head effortlessly till i could recalled them during exam. At that very moment, I realised that I actually dont know the correct way of studying, I-dont-know-how-to-do-study.
To be continue.
When test approaching, then i started to cram things, study all the materials only bit here and there. Getting my score for the test which all the time above average, sometimes barely A-, already made me relieved. But still deep in my heart, I still feel, i should have done better, i could have done better.
The issue getting obvious during final exam. I studied, quite hard, maybe not as hard as my friends, but still hard, made notes, read them, but still i didnt managed to get result as good as them. They managed to achieve the D-list during the early years of study which you should before it getting tougher by next 2-3 years. But i really dont know why i couldnt.
The cycle keeps repeating until my second year of degree. I just able to get myself float and surviving the year but without excellence. The desire is burning to achieve the D-list too, but i dont know what did I do wrong.
And until my third year, I couldnt keep myself float anymore, I failed two tests of Parasitology, twice in a row. I've been called by the lecturer, asking for whys and hows. I cried when I went back to my room. Those are the first moments of failure that I faced in life. I never actually failed in studying since school, I was shocked too, and I'm still finding the whys and hows.
When the final exam of third year coming, I knew I couldnt afford to fail a subject, if i did, i have to repeat. Thats my worst nightmare. My carry mark was low since the beginning, I have to buckle up, push myself beyond the limit, put the 150% effort to pass the parasitology.
In the morning while we're waiting for parasite exam, I heard one friend explaining about one part in parasite, I understand every bit of what he was explaining, and it stuck in my head effortlessly till i could recalled them during exam. At that very moment, I realised that I actually dont know the correct way of studying, I-dont-know-how-to-do-study.
To be continue.
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