"2013 Is A Year Of...." A Review A Reflection of 2013.
02:40
Done with Lecture 9 of Agriculture. Done chatting and laughing with Nurfarahaida and Afza. Done replying message from my sis Nur Hafizah. Done calling my mum, Mardziah Ali.
Done. Now please spend a moment to reflect yourself Nur Fadhilah binti Abd Shukor.
What is 2013 meant for you. A year of sadness? A year of glory? A year of mourning? What is 2013 for you Nur Fadhilah?
1)2013 is a year where I learn how to Struggle to hold on my Deen and Iman.
Foundation life where my mum is not here to remind me
A life where the hostel guardian is not there to call and shout for you to come and perform solat in Berjemaah at the Surau. Its a year where all the religious knowledge is very close but it depends on you whether you want it or not. Its a year, where I felt my Ramadhan is not as meaningful as before because lack of consciousness toward Deen but busy with Dun ya.
Astaghfirullah...
Its a year I always slipped and slouched and close to fall out of track from my Deen. Its a year where I struggle hard to fight and keep on fighting to give at least a little space for my Imaan to refresh. Its hard. Very hard.
Hostel and school and home is heaven of Dun ya and Here after.
2)2013 is a year of Playing on Safe Side.
I turn down all , yes all offer to join any debate or public speaking competition. Why? to focus on my study. Frankly speaking, I do feel regret now. A bit. My soul hurt because it can't do the thing that Nur Fadhilah really love to do.
Hurt.
How this soul need to be cure?
Me also turn down a very huge offer in my lifetime. Hurt? Regret? Only Allah Knows.
Nur Fadhilah played on safe side through out the year 2013 which she never done before in her lifetime. She follow others lead while she's the done who lead people, she lie to herself a lot . Weirdo.
3)2013 is a year of Learning on How to Accept (Redha) with His Fate
Mum's word. All had been followed without rebelled even a bit. Turning down a huge offer of a lifetime because of her. I learn how to accept and accept and accept without any doubt towards Him. Learn on how to have strong faith toward Him.
Learn to believe the He the One who Knows whats best for his slave.
“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.” – (QS Al-Baqarah ayat 216)
I try my hard to hold on this verse to face the days in 2013. Nur Fadhilah still waiting for the rainbow to appear after the rainy season, but it still doesn't appear. It's okay, I am still waiting. In shaa Allah, it will. Soon.
Then, these words came into my inbox
Done. Now please spend a moment to reflect yourself Nur Fadhilah binti Abd Shukor.
What is 2013 meant for you. A year of sadness? A year of glory? A year of mourning? What is 2013 for you Nur Fadhilah?
1)2013 is a year where I learn how to Struggle to hold on my Deen and Iman.
Foundation life where my mum is not here to remind me
"Nur Fadhilah, dah solat belum...? " -Mama
A life where the hostel guardian is not there to call and shout for you to come and perform solat in Berjemaah at the Surau. Its a year where all the religious knowledge is very close but it depends on you whether you want it or not. Its a year, where I felt my Ramadhan is not as meaningful as before because lack of consciousness toward Deen but busy with Dun ya.
Astaghfirullah...
Its a year I always slipped and slouched and close to fall out of track from my Deen. Its a year where I struggle hard to fight and keep on fighting to give at least a little space for my Imaan to refresh. Its hard. Very hard.
Hostel and school and home is heaven of Dun ya and Here after.
2)2013 is a year of Playing on Safe Side.
I turn down all , yes all offer to join any debate or public speaking competition. Why? to focus on my study. Frankly speaking, I do feel regret now. A bit. My soul hurt because it can't do the thing that Nur Fadhilah really love to do.
Hurt.
How this soul need to be cure?
Me also turn down a very huge offer in my lifetime. Hurt? Regret? Only Allah Knows.
Nur Fadhilah played on safe side through out the year 2013 which she never done before in her lifetime. She follow others lead while she's the done who lead people, she lie to herself a lot . Weirdo.
3)2013 is a year of Learning on How to Accept (Redha) with His Fate
Mum's word. All had been followed without rebelled even a bit. Turning down a huge offer of a lifetime because of her. I learn how to accept and accept and accept without any doubt towards Him. Learn on how to have strong faith toward Him.
Learn to believe the He the One who Knows whats best for his slave.
“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.” – (QS Al-Baqarah ayat 216)
I try my hard to hold on this verse to face the days in 2013. Nur Fadhilah still waiting for the rainbow to appear after the rainy season, but it still doesn't appear. It's okay, I am still waiting. In shaa Allah, it will. Soon.
Then, these words came into my inbox
4)2013 is a year of Choices.
INTec? United Kingdom? but Family,UPM, Foundation and Kuliah 9 insist me to stay.
At last, for the sake of them all , I stay. Hold myself from my own satisfaction which I still doesn't sure whether I am going to further my study there in sincere or just want to gain fame?
"Abby nak study dekat UK tu Ikhlas ke just NAK dapat nama..? " - Along
A question that still lingering without answer in my head up until now.
Again my Imaan being tested by Him. Again I learn and keep learning to accept the Fate as sincere as possible, Im still a slave with lots of weakness and flaws. Again I felt my Imaan arise and fall and fall.
Learn how to make a decision. But sometimes, to arrive at the right place, we have to make a wrong decision first right?
5)2013 is a year of Appreciate-ness of Family.
I learn to appreciate every human being around me. I learn how to appreciate you.Thank you readers.
Appreciating people with a simple
"Thanks" "Terima kasih"
But most of all, I learn how to appreciate my family. How much kindness done by them that I've overlooked for all these 18 years of my life but then I just learnt to appreciate them now? Ashamed of myself. It a year where I learn to know my family better and deeper. I learn how to become a better sister to my little sister. I just learn how to appreciate them, Im sorry Mama, Along, Adek, Tikah for these while.
"Jangan berpecah empat beradik ni. Girls power.. "-Mama
"Family je yang akan ada, akan caring dekat kita in all means " -Syuhada Shefee
6)2013 is a year of Friendship
Start from PLKN life until Foundation life, it was platform for me to learn about Friendship. Their acceptance toward me and my attitude toward them.
I just learn and have the bless and nikmat of having girls friend. I just learn to have a nikmat of having a girls talk. I just learn how beautiful the life is to be surrounded with kawan, kenalan and sahabat.
“Tidak beriman seseorang kamu, hinggalah dia mencintai saudaranya, sebagaimana dia mengasihi dirinya sendiri.” Hadith Muttafaq ‘Alaih
7)2013 is a year of to Understand people and Tolerate.
*loopsided.
"Banyak udang banyak garam , Banyak orang banyak Ragam.." -Orang tua tua
Stepping outside the safe zone of home and school , met various kind of people from all walk of life. Some are totally nice, demure, beautiful but quite snobbish, cute but too childish, etc. I learn how to understand them, try to cope with them. Try to understand people. I really mean people. Mass amount.
Handling ASPerian for 2semester really open my eyes about so many kind of people attitude, their own special and uniqueness. Thank you so much for opening my eyes, because of you guys and girls I learn that everybody have their own limitation including myself. I learn that me myself still have a lots and lots of weakness and flaws and darkside inside me. Hmm. I do.
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| source from ASPer Streamers9 |
10)2013 is a year where I learn to become Feminine a bit. Eh.
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| skit2 suda... Ok enough. No comment.
number 8 and 9 is kept secret.
Ma'assalamah(goodbye) Nur Fadhilah binti Abd Shukor of 2013.
Assalamualaikum the Light of Transcendence,(Nur Fadhilah) welcome to 2014.
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1 comments
may Allah ease your way in 2014 :) sedap lahhhh ayat fad.geram huhu :P
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