a reminder how far you've been, to keep you stay grounded, yet forward and further.
11:38
dear 22 year old self,
well, sanah helwah to you, and no doubt, this year is one of the toughest birthday day that you had faced, but not as tough as how your mom delivered out a 4.1kg baby which is you! you cried, you sulk on this day, but your mum whined, losing blood until half of her body turned cyanotic(blue), crushed bones, is never comparable. and this letter is a reminder how far you've been, to keep you stay grounded, yet forward and further.
during the whole 21 years old, there is one issue that you have been battling inside yourself for a very long time, until few days before your 22, i could say, you may has come to a point, that you can accept the fate and moving on. its about friendship. you had a rough experience regarding friendship till you lost hope about it and become quite rebellious. you didn't believe anymore in true friendship, yet, you envied people and yearn to have one faithful girl friend around you. but as you grow, you learnt that, friendship is a gift, friendship also a 'cinta pandang pertama', love at first sight. now you learnt and accepted, that for two person to become a faithful friend, they need one 'click' feelings in each other so they can stick. and that feeling only can be given by Him. and you haven't met that person that have the 'click' feeling yet. but, you've made a lot of friends along your life journey isn't. anywhere you go, there will be a person that will smile, greet you and shout your name, but i know most of the time you dont exactly remember all of their names! that's okay, keep smiling and greet them as well. even you still haven't met the one true friend, one thing that will foster and keep everyone together with you, is sincerity. Instead of waiting for friends to be sincere, you can be the kick start of this. Love all of the people around you with all your heart, without expecting anything in return. And good things usually happen then.
you were naturally borned with a lot of ambitions in your small head and short height. you want to achieve a lot of things in life. i still remember, how many times you said to yourself that you wish you were borned as normal like others. but, you just different. Thus, you being apart from family the most compare to other siblings. But dont ever forgot your mom, which is the second source of all the Blessings in your life after Him. Dont forget that among all of your ambitions and dreams, one dream to walk your mom you to the heaven is the utmost mission that you must accomplish. pray for her, call her, and achieve the best in your study and make her smile.
i know in between all your smiles on instagram, there are struggles that you hide from the world. you've been deceived, badmouthed by people, torn family during your important examinations, failed in two tests, more, but hey, you survived till now. you fought till the end of the second year final exam and you dont need to repeat the parasitology test. you still smile and greet people that badmouthed on you behind your back. you lost your phone for two times and yet still survive without great smartphone like others. and you can't survive from all of them without Allah, your mom, and your family and friends. in this coming tougher year of fourth year vet medic, let out all your problems in your sujood even before sharing it with your mom and family and friends. your relationship with Allah is the ultimate source of all life needs that you need; strength, sustenance, tranquility of heart, and the ease of everything in life. but at the same time, build sincerity in every of your pray and sujood, not just because you need and want something from Him.
and last, perception. i know, sometime you feel everybody else is better than you. but, where you stand now, what you are doing now, also something that not all people can do. get rid of all negative thoughts in your mind that pull you down. and fills your heart with alll the positive thoughts towards people too. i know with your black past had made you quite cynical toward people around you. so, lets start a new book of life with all the nice thought toward people around you. always remember what you hold, treat people how you want to be treated, but if you dont get the same, at least you've made someone happy.
happy 22.
well, sanah helwah to you, and no doubt, this year is one of the toughest birthday day that you had faced, but not as tough as how your mom delivered out a 4.1kg baby which is you! you cried, you sulk on this day, but your mum whined, losing blood until half of her body turned cyanotic(blue), crushed bones, is never comparable. and this letter is a reminder how far you've been, to keep you stay grounded, yet forward and further.
during the whole 21 years old, there is one issue that you have been battling inside yourself for a very long time, until few days before your 22, i could say, you may has come to a point, that you can accept the fate and moving on. its about friendship. you had a rough experience regarding friendship till you lost hope about it and become quite rebellious. you didn't believe anymore in true friendship, yet, you envied people and yearn to have one faithful girl friend around you. but as you grow, you learnt that, friendship is a gift, friendship also a 'cinta pandang pertama', love at first sight. now you learnt and accepted, that for two person to become a faithful friend, they need one 'click' feelings in each other so they can stick. and that feeling only can be given by Him. and you haven't met that person that have the 'click' feeling yet. but, you've made a lot of friends along your life journey isn't. anywhere you go, there will be a person that will smile, greet you and shout your name, but i know most of the time you dont exactly remember all of their names! that's okay, keep smiling and greet them as well. even you still haven't met the one true friend, one thing that will foster and keep everyone together with you, is sincerity. Instead of waiting for friends to be sincere, you can be the kick start of this. Love all of the people around you with all your heart, without expecting anything in return. And good things usually happen then.
you were naturally borned with a lot of ambitions in your small head and short height. you want to achieve a lot of things in life. i still remember, how many times you said to yourself that you wish you were borned as normal like others. but, you just different. Thus, you being apart from family the most compare to other siblings. But dont ever forgot your mom, which is the second source of all the Blessings in your life after Him. Dont forget that among all of your ambitions and dreams, one dream to walk your mom you to the heaven is the utmost mission that you must accomplish. pray for her, call her, and achieve the best in your study and make her smile.
i know in between all your smiles on instagram, there are struggles that you hide from the world. you've been deceived, badmouthed by people, torn family during your important examinations, failed in two tests, more, but hey, you survived till now. you fought till the end of the second year final exam and you dont need to repeat the parasitology test. you still smile and greet people that badmouthed on you behind your back. you lost your phone for two times and yet still survive without great smartphone like others. and you can't survive from all of them without Allah, your mom, and your family and friends. in this coming tougher year of fourth year vet medic, let out all your problems in your sujood even before sharing it with your mom and family and friends. your relationship with Allah is the ultimate source of all life needs that you need; strength, sustenance, tranquility of heart, and the ease of everything in life. but at the same time, build sincerity in every of your pray and sujood, not just because you need and want something from Him.
and last, perception. i know, sometime you feel everybody else is better than you. but, where you stand now, what you are doing now, also something that not all people can do. get rid of all negative thoughts in your mind that pull you down. and fills your heart with alll the positive thoughts towards people too. i know with your black past had made you quite cynical toward people around you. so, lets start a new book of life with all the nice thought toward people around you. always remember what you hold, treat people how you want to be treated, but if you dont get the same, at least you've made someone happy.
happy 22.
from your 21 year old self.
1 comments
I miss you fadh!
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